RE: YMCA and pickup - trade weekend

It is frustrating when you dismiss an email without reason, as for the
August 20 email. It is also frustrating when you claim not to have
received email, as in the past. Hence, I need a better response to the
August 20 email than a blanket dismissal before I spend much time
composing new messages.

However, it is important that I document the false history you are
sewing the seeds for: we have never had a discussion in the past on “my
financial situation”. Whether it was good, bad, changing or otherwise.
You suggested the amount I send you each month in order to foment a new
divorce agreement – one based on mutual respect, access to both parents
even in the presence of travel, co-operation in raising D*, and
open communications. In other words a joint conservatorship. You have
caused and are causing great damage by having fomented and negotiated
that agreement in bad faith - and when using it as a weapon to separate
me from my son.

It is hypocritical that you placed so much importance on D* having
group interaction at the YMCA that my visiting there is not even
tolerable - when you have completely removed him from the program.

On Fri, 2004-08-20 at 15:03, H* Lynch wrote:
> Tom,
>
> I really need to concentrate on my work, especially when I shorten my
> office work hour until 2:30 pm for D*' after school care. I am
> saying again last time that I am taking care of D* after school by
> myself. Please no more discussion about YMCA afterschool care.
>
> The positive side of this incident, though, now I can have more time
> with D* to help him emotionally to guide him to the right
> direction.
>
> Regarding financial support note,
> I am planning to take D* to the lessons which enrich his minds and
> physical strength. The current monthly child support of $550.00 you are
> giving has never been enough for these. By observing that you have so
> much free time without needing to work, I have an impression that you
> are financially more capable than 3 years ago. If it is the case, then
> it is D*' right to receive more appropriate financial support from
> his Dad. If you are still struggling for your living as you said 3 years
> ago, then I will do my best to take care of D* as usual without
> your additional help.
>
> Thanks.
>
> --H*
>
>
>
>
>
> -----Original Message-----
> From: tom lynch [mailto:tom.lynch@somedomain]
> Sent: Friday, August 20, 2004 2:06 PM
> To: H* Lynch
> Subject: RE: YMCA and pickup - trade weekend
>
> On Fri, 2004-08-20 at 10:12, H* Lynch wrote:
> > Tom,
> >
> > You have all the right to see the facts from your perspective, but all
> > things you are saying is so twisted and fabricated that I don't see
> any
> > reason to waste my time on this
>
>
> I request that you specifically point out what you are calling twisted
> or fabricated. I don't feel we are communicating if you just dismiss
> everything I say with a wave of the hand.
>
> > .
> >
> > I have been fixing up the damage you created for after school care
> > program during my possession period for two weeks now and it really
> > disturbs the routines which D* needs to prepare for his first
> > grade class right after summer long vacation.
> >
> > As I said clearly on the last e-mail communication, I choose to take
> > care of D* by myself after school by changing my work hours and
> I
> > will be appreciated if you can give us more financial support.
>
> Do I understand you correctly: you are offseting your schedule so as to
> save the expense of after school care, and so you need more financial
> support? Something doesn't add up here. Why don't you just give the
> YMCA a simple schedule agreement even if it is just a copy of the
> divorce decree section?
>
> I would be willing to discuss the financial support question in the
> context of better co-operation (see my note above about dismissing my
> prior email.)
>
> >
> > Thanks.
> >
> > --H*
> >
> >
> >
> > -----Original Message-----
> > From: tom lynch [mailto:tom.lynch@somedomain]
> > Sent: Friday, August 20, 2004 9:26 AM
> > To: H* Lynch
> > Subject: RE: YMCA and pickup - trade weekend
> >
> > ok, replying on the second point:
> >
> > On Thu, 2004-08-19 at 14:28, H* Lynch wrote:
> > > Tom,
> > >
> > > >1) pickup
> > >
> > > Yes, I will be glad to take care of D* this weekend, but
> please
> > > let me know the exact trade date, so that I can explain to D*
> > when
> > > you are going to visit him.
> > >
> > > >2) YMCA
> > >
> > > >However, your goal of minimizing
> > > >my time with D* will probably cause stumpling blocks - as I
> > love
> > > >my son very much and want to spend as much time with him as
> > practical.
> > >
> > > >I would suggest you drop your complaints about my visiting the
> > program
> > > >when you are not there.
> > >
> > > I never intend to minimize your time with D* and I never will.
>
> > > I am following our divorce agreement which was intended for the best
> > > interest of D*. The divorce decree was set for D* to be
> > > settled in a routine so that the stress from our divorce is
> minimized.
> >
> >
> >
> >
> > Events don't support your statement. Just two days ago you called and
> > accused me of abAning D* in the gym at the school last year.
> > Also, while holding D* by the hand you said things along the
> lines
> > that I was a bad influence and I was affecting his mind. -- This is
> not
> > exactly the kind of stuff you would expect from someone who respects
> > their son's relationship with his father.
> >
> > .. However, if this is a statement of change -- I welcome the it! I
> > would be glad if you started to, among other things, lighten up.
> >
> >
> >
> > >
> > > Your rAm visit to YMCA after school care on my possession period
> > > interferes my intention for him to play in a group so that he can
> > > improve his social skill. I did not want any trouble with YMCA so I
> > had
> > > been quite about your visit.
> >
> > No it doesn't. It enhances it. Case in point: you told the YMCA you
> > did not have time to let D* enter the talent show as other
> > children were. I took time off from my job, traveled to Austin, and
> > supported his entry. He became part of the group, it strengthened his
> > self image, and you and I got film and good memories out of it. I
> > noticed you had a good seat for taking pictures.
> >
> > >
> > > YMCA cancelled D*'s enrollment because of your behavior by not
> > > respecting their rules. What they wanted was simply to see you and
> > > D* in the same area where the counselors were monitoring the
> > kids
> > > because of their liabilities. Now I've been informed by YMCA that
> > > counselors do not want to meet you in person because they are
> > > intimidated by you.
> >
> > You didn't write me in as a parent at the YMCA, you didn't tell them
> > there was a joint managing conservator ship. But you did make it
> clear
> > to them that you did not trust me and you implied I was dangerous and
> > out to get custody of our son. In other words, you set the tone, you
> > called out the notes, and then you all danced to it - and now you are
> > trying to hang it on me, but it backfired and you got tossed out.
> >
> > Tracy left me a voicemail saying basically all that they want to see
> is
> > for us to agree before they let him back in. Here, let me copy you
> on
> > that voice mail ... didn't you get the same message? .. there no now
> > you have it on your cell voice mail. Tracy Berhardt says they just
> > want to see an that we agree and that we have realistic expectations
> > from them.
> >
> > >
> > > At this point, the lack of commitment to comply with our agreement
> on
> > > your side, I don't see much hope with YMCA after school care. It is
> > too
> > > unfortunate for D* to lose opportunities to play with his own
> > > classmates. I arranged my work schedules so that I can take care of
> > > D* after school is over.
> >
> > My first priority is that D* is raised as well as possible given
> > the constraints we are working with. And this is %100 in alignment
> with
> > the divorce decree. Hence, I will not let you spin our agreement and
> > turn it into a weapon as you did when you attempted to block his entry
> > into the talent show, and as you are trying to do now.
> >
> > H*, I generously agreed to share the conservatorship with you
> > based on a commitment that you would be reasonable and would act in
> > D*' best interest. I had not imagined that you would instead
> use
> > that agreement as a weapon to leverage even more. Please stop doing
> > this. In my prior mail I started a dialog towards the end of
> providing
> > the schedule which Tracy asked for.
> >
> > .. since you have proposed a new course in your prior email I would
> > suggest that the following would be the best agreement we could make,
> > and would be in the spirit of agreement that lead to our joint custody
> > arrangement in the first place:
> >
> > I think we should stop putting D* and YMCA in the middle. I
> > trust you not to purposely pick D* up on the wrong day. (If you
> > wanted to kidnap D* you could do that on your own time anyway,
> and
> > there would be nothing I could do about it.) Also, I don't mind if
> you
> > stop by and see him on during the day even if it happens to fall in my
> > schedule (as it does bi-weekly). After all, you are his mother, and I
> > don't like the idea that anyone, especially D*, would feel there
> > is something suspicious about his mother or father. Hence, I suggest
> > that we simply tell the YMCA that they don't need to police us, and
> that
> > we are both his parents and we both trust that the other will respect
> > that. I think you should apologize about misleading them and not
> putting
> > me down as the other parent, and in the future provide both contact
> > numbers.
> >
> > H*, if you call off the war, lighten up, and stop acting like,
> and
> > saying, that you have something to fear from me, then things will go
> > much better.
> >
> >
> > -tom
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> > >
> > >
> > >
> > > --H*
> >
> >
> > >
> > >
> > >
> > >
> > >
> > >
> > >
> > > -----Original Message-----
> > > From: tlynch [mailto:tom.lynch@somedomain]
> > > Sent: Wednesday, August 18, 2004 7:45 PM
> > > To: H* Lynch
> > > Subject: YMCA and pickup - trade weekend
> > >
> > >
> > > 1)pickup
> > > H*, I might have difficulty with this weekend. Lets talk in
> the
> > > morning.
> > >
> > > 2)YMCA
> > >
> > > Tracy Berhhardt left me a message that implied they would take
> > > D* back if we presented them with a simple signed agreement as
>
> > > to schedule. This seems reasonable. However, your goal of
> minimizing
> >
> > > my time with D* will probably cause stumpling blocks - as I
> love
> >
> > > my son very much and want to spend as much time with him as
> practical.
> > >
> > > I would suggest you drop your complaints about my visiting the
> program
> >
> > > when you are not there. Since you wouldn't see me anyway.
> D*
> > > and I might then have a pleasant game of chess etc. I will not
> > > attempt to prevent him from leaving at the time you arrive (and I
> > > never have intended to do that). Thinking about this practically,
> it
> >
> > > is unlikely I'll be able to visit often anyway. The first day of
> > > school was special. They got out very late.
> > >
> > >
> > >
> > > Tom.Lynch@somedomain
> > >
> >
>
Received on Tue Aug 24 15:01:34 2004