Re: RE:D*' consequences

So, if I understand you, then currently he has no videos, but he has
television and cable.

On Fri, 2004-08-13 at 16:56, H* Lynch wrote:
> Tom,
>
> You are right about the importance of communication between us, and I guess both of us need to work on that part.
>
> The foundation that I am laying for the consequence is that first I use reward system. D* will get points when he behaves well and lose points when he misbehaves. If he gets 20 points, he can choose to buy his favorite toy up to $10.00 or save it for later.
>
> When he needs serious correction of his behavior such as hitting or throwing objects, he will lose his privilege. His privilege includes watching video/kid's TV program, playing computer games, visiting amusement parks, or something which he enjoys very much for fun. If he still does not correct his behavior with this consequence, he can not invite his friend to play for the weekend ("being grounded").
>
> Recently, I observed that D* took out his anger in negative way. "Counting down to 10" used to work for him to calm down his anger, but he said it is not working anymore. Once in a while, D* was talking about being spanked for his bad behavior at your house. I really think giving physical consequences build up hidden anger inside of him.
>
> This is what I have been doing for D*' behavior correction. I would really appreciate if you could tell me about what you've been doing on your side. This way we can improve D*' behavior for his best interest.
>
> --H*
>
>
>
>
>
>
> -----Original Message-----
> From: tom lynch [mailto:tom.lynch@somedomain]
> Sent: Friday, August 13, 2004 11:39 AM
> To: H* Lynch
> Subject: RE: D*' consequences
>
>
> H*, in order to be able to communicate with my son, I need to have
> some idea of what the foundation is that you are laying. Last night you
> asked D* about what happens at my place. This puts him in the
> middle and is bad for him.
>
> There is no replacement for communication between us. Are you willing
> to take the role of a joint managing conservator and open up
> communications? Or are these hostilities going to continue on?
>
> Now, please, give me on idea of what is going on with D* on your
> side, so that I may provide for his needs on my side.
>
> D* was noticably concerned about these consequences, what are
> they? You mentioned no videos. Does this mean no television also?
>
>
> On Fri, 2004-08-13 at 10:34, H* Lynch wrote:
> > Tom,
> >
> > As long as there is no spanking involved (hypocrite uses it to teach
> > kids non-violence), neither of us should not meddle other parent's
> > discipline method. I hope you understand this and please do not use
> > spanking for your own discipline method.
> >
> > Thanks for your future cooperation.
> >
> > --H*
> >
> >
> >
> > -----Original Message-----
> > From: tom lynch [mailto:tom.lynch@somedomain]
> > Sent: Friday, August 13, 2004 10:09 AM
> > To: H* Lynch
> > Subject: D*' consequences
> >
> > When you say you have taken his videos away, does that include
> > television in general, or is it just the videos?
> >
> >
> >
>
Received on Fri Aug 13 19:09:12 2004